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Driving Miss Daisy

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Driving Miss Daisy
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TAB UK - Tom Ms blog - The Bluffington Post (1)

Issue 346

The Lasting Impact of Parental Guidance

Those of us who have (or used to have) small persons to look after (whether children or grandchildren) will agree that a large part of interaction with them consists of trying to stop them from doing damage (physical or otherwise) to themselves or others – “don’t touch [that boiling saucepan]”, “don’t bite Susan again -- play nicely”, “watch out before crossing the road”, “if you don’t eat your breakfast quickly you’ll be late for school”, “have you done your homework yet?” …. the list is endless.

Small persons tom morton

There’s no doubt that this is, on the whole, helpful to the small person (and if you’re not sure about that, take a look at the often dire outcomes for kids who have no parent figure to guide them). But (and there is always a but!) this can have unforeseen results later in life.

The boffins long ago realised that advice from your parents becomes embedded in your subconscious, but the early researchers possibly underestimated how powerful these subconscious drivers can be.

Step forward Mr Taibi Kahler. Mr K started his psychology career working with troubled young people, and in 1975 (nb for the Ed this is relatively recently!) he identified what he calls the Five Drivers. These subconscious motivators drive us to a greater or lesser degree – not only in childhood but for the rest of our lives. The difference is that we don’t always realise it!

They are –

  • Please Others
  • Be Strong
  • Hurry Up
  • Try Hard
  • Be Perfect

More details are here, if you’re interested.

Like so many of these things, in moderation they can be very helpful; but when any (or all!) of them get out of proportion, it can be counterproductive and lead to high levels of stress.

The trick, as so often, is to be aware (especially of those drivers which are particularly strong for you – and there’s a link to a test in the article), and to keep things in proportion….

Seeking Balanced Perspectives

Tom Morton Board edit (1)

…. talking of which (cue subtle segue) -- how would it be if you had access to a group of seven other independent business owners, who you meet every month, and who will not only give you a different perspective but also robust feedback, support, and advice, with no axe to grind?

If this sounds attractive, you know where to come ….

Quirky News You Might Have Missed

Quirky news

Time for some quirky news items you might have missed since we met last –

Stress Reduction Through Inactivity: Last month saw the tenth anniversary of the International Space Out Competition in Seoul. The rules are simple: do absolutely nothing. Organisers monitor the participants’ heart rates; the contestant with the most stable heart rate wins. Falling asleep, however, leads to disqualification (shame – otherwise, Toots, the Editorial cat, would win hands [or rather, paws] down).

Gardening for Better Sleep: Gardeners tend to sleep better than everyone else, according to a team from Fudan University in Shanghai ….

Avoiding HMRC: …. but if you can possibly avoid trying to contact HMRC, do so -- British taxpayers spent almost 800 years on hold to HMRC in the 2022-23 tax year, says The Daily Torygraph ….

Screen Time Before Bed: But in better news (for some – Ed), the bedtime boffins have changed their minds -- it turns out that staring at a phone screen before bed doesn’t harm your sleep, says sleep psychologist Mr Michael Gradisar

Renaissance Spies’ Arsenal: Research by Mr Peter Davidson reveals that Europe’s Renaissance spies seem to have been armed by a forerunner of Q.  Among the weapons spotted by a visitor to the Uffizi in Florence in the 1650s was a device made from “five pistol barrels joined together to be put in your hat”, designed to fire “as you salute your enemy and bid him farewell”.  Another was a pistol with 18 barrels, meant to be fired only in desperation – the bullets would “scatter through a room” in all directions.  Then there was the “dag”, a short revolver which allowed the holder to bump off enemies at close range. A “deluxe version” came stealthily concealed in a book of devotions …. (maybe when visiting Salisbury Cathedral?) 

Lightning Strikes in Real Time: If you want to know whether to wear rubber-soled shoes today, you can check out lightning strikes worldwide in real-time here

70-Year-Old Flamingo Lays First Egg: And this week’s 'awww' story features Gertrude, a flamingo in Norfolk who has just laid her first egg at the age of 70. The aged avian is part of a flamboyance [posh, eh?] of more than 65 flamingos at Pensthorpe Nature Reserve near Fakenham. Her own egg won’t hatch, but “Gertrude is very protective of the young in the flock and will make a great aunt and babysitter”

Columbo Corner

Columbo Corner (2)

On to Columbo Corner, and two election stories (“just when you thought it was safe ….”) 

As the late Julius Caesar said, “Let me have men about me who are fat.” A “wealth of research” apparently shows that tubbier politicians—male politicians, at any rate—are seen as “serious, dependable, and likely to be good in a crisis.” In unrelated news, it seems that Mr Boris Johnson has lost a lot of weight recently ….

…. but these things can be taken to extremes. Mr Donald Payne Jr. won the Democratic primary for Congress in his district …. a month after suffering a fatal heart attack. He had been running for re-election unopposed, and the filing deadline for other candidates had passed by the time he died.

Board Announcements

For a light-hearted look at some of what TAB does, check out this video:

I presently run two Boards: 

  • Blue (for people who run large businesses) – one spare seat
  • White Board (for people who run fast-growing businesses) — three spare seats

Get in touch if you want to find out more.


Final words of wisdom (not mine)

“George – don’t do that” (Joyce Grenfell)

Nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes” (Benjamin Franklin)

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